My dad died last year and it is January 1st so I think i get to share some emotions on fatherhood real quick. I haven’t seen my daughter for over two years. My last letter received by her was immediately followed with her (11 at the time, 12 now) trying to break her teacher’s arm so her mother has stopped responding to emails or texts and has full custody. Won’t talk to me. I feel an awful suicide a rumbling because I love my daughter and I am inspired by my Dad to describe what a good father can do for a child. Read! Read and love and read to the child every night! It’s so simple to be happy with a family that allows for it. But my daughter was born to another man, with his name and his wife did everything possible to undercut what I am about. If you interviewed her about nigger you’d get a different story than if you asked me. Niggerization is reduction of quality, not quantity. Reduction of value and dignity and respect and standing. When I got the number of the home where my girl was at her mother explicitly instructed them not to talk to me or pass on any letters or packages. This silence has extended to grandparents who also haven’t seen her. MY stepmom has an address and we bought some brand toys for Xmas to send to her, but we don’t know if she received them. I think my daughter’s mother has a support network that encourages her to cut me off because of my philosophy. Niggerization is the destruction of the social soul in a political world. The destruction of family, for me, has been niggerizing. I miss my girl and can’t do anything about it. If I was secure and rich I could hire a lawyer and maybe get a location and visitation rights but really women are not on equal footing when deciding things about a child. They have a home court advantage so my daughter lives with a live in boyfriend and i guess will never see me. I don’t work I don’t go to school I don’t play games much. I strain against myself for meaning and purpose amidst rejection. Literally have no hope for my country or philosophical movement. Being a nigger doesn’t make you different, but the experience of niggerization does. NFTs will have to withstand attempts to niggerize them but the goal is a healthier more loving society with less bigotry so it is well worth it. I literally don’t feel like I can continue in this data starved emotional world. But I have not finished exploring. I want to finish the game engine and go three d. I want to get the crypto on its own block chain that people can do small parts of the mathematics of with the computer. I want to gather people with flags with their hearts properly missing since that is our nation’s stance on humanity. I want to find someone smaller than me that fits my fursuit and get it off my hands. I wanted to be married but she perceived me as exploitive for not going to school or working and thinking she wanted to pay for school. I wait for inheritances and hate myself often but goddamnit I love my life. It’s just very boring to be eccentric in a sanist world and it is hard to be happy when met with such opposition. There’s going to be more developments in every realm of my world and I will be there to optimize our ability to benefit from them, but the two people who have agre4ed to get the name have not even submitted petitions. I think I got into a war with remnants of Nixon and Bush and Clinton and Obama and Biden and Trump and Graham and lost a nation before I ever had it. My passport application is not in place yet and giving up on Numerica is impossible for me. Its just too cool that Numerical can be punned with Numerica and number systems. My life is just too awesomne to mourn. I hate the baddumb though and it is prevalent and taxing. I’ve lost a lot of hope and have to recover. Psychovery, for me, has been discovery for too long and recovery too spottily. It’s time for a new fire to be lit.